A Little Christmas: A Little Love

Our culture can sometimes over-emphasize the feelings of love. We have sappy romantic movies and fairy tales that are all about falling in love. We are almost in love with the feeling of being in love. By contrast, when that feeling is absent, we are off the hook. It is easy to feel like we don’t have to treat others nicely if they do not treat us well. Sometimes the Golden Rule is misconstrued to “do unto others as they do to you” rather than “do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12).

Some people are tough to love. I’m sure all teachers can relate to those students who can be tough to love, just as most people can think of someone in their workplace who is tough to love. As far as my two year old students go, there are definitely those who require more time and more discipline than others. And somehow, God has a way of making more room in my heart for them.

Love can be a feeling. But there are times when loving others is a choice without the feelings. Working day in and day out with students has reinforced that fact for me. When Jesus tells us to “Love one another” I do not think he is talking about warm fuzzy feelings. People who annoy us or treat us poorly do not produce warm fuzzy feelings within us.

There are some popular Bible verses that I’d like to bring up again because they are worth re-reading as often as we might come across them. This quote is from the Common English Bible, so it might sound a little different than you have heard before.

“Love is patient, love is kind, it isn’t jealous, it doesn’t brag, it isn’t arrogant,⁵ it isn’t rude, it doesn’t seek its own advantage, it isn’t irritable, it doesn’t keep a record of complaints, ⁶ it isn’t happy with injustice, but it is happy with the truth. ⁷ Love puts up with all things, trusts in all things, hopes for all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Making a choice to love someone else means choosing to act this way toward them: to treat them with patience and kindness; to resist the temptation to keep track of all the ways they have wronged you or to have a short temper with them. Loving that person who is tough to love means not being rude or short in return for their rudeness or shortness.

At Christmas we celebrate the fact that God made a choice to love us. God decided to send his son to be born here as a human and endure life within the confines of humanity. He chose to live here and teach us how to live as one of us. Being born as a human gave God the opportunity to show us the full extent of his love: to die on the cross for our evil nature so that we might be redeemed. God first chose to love us, so that we can choose to love one another. And for every moment we are able to love others, it’s another moment in which God is again born here on earth.

A Little Christmas: A Little Hope

Before I get into the subject of hope, I’d like to introduce my theme for Advent this season.

A little Christmas: Small things that make a big difference.

Last February I began working as a teacher of 2 year olds. Before I took the job I prayed. I prayed for God’s guidance to find the right job for me at this time of my life. After I prayed I came across two completely separate articles about small things; not just little items, but about doing small things versus doing ‘big’ things and especially as it pertains to church or our spiritual life. (The main article can be found here: http://shelovesmagazine.com/2015/small-plenty/.)  The quote that really struck me that day was this:

“Get ready, God is preparing you for something really, really, small.” – Shane Claiborne

When I was working in churches, I tended toward wanting “big.” I watched the big churches to see what they were doing. I wanted big groups of youth and children. I wanted to make a “big” impact on the community. When I had the opportunity to teach some of the smallest people that exist, I had to sit back a moment and get my ego in check. Is this class really where God wants me right now? It’s so small.

But there is something particularly holy about little people. I’ve been learning it ever since I had children, and I was learning it in children’s ministry, but it has really sunk in as I’ve spent so much time with little people who are not related to me. Holiness is not only found in small people, but I believe holiness can be found in small actions as well. Little things that we do or do not do that are far more important and reach far deeper than we realize. Indeed, life starts extremely small and our lives are made up of small things. Small growth, small words, small seconds, minutes, and hours that add up to years.

So what about hope? The first Sunday of Advent is the Sunday of hope. We reflect on the hope that the Israelite people had that God would one day send the Messiah to bring salvation and righteousness. In the book of Jeremiah, the prophet by the same name is living in a time in which the Hebrews have been conquered by the Babylonians and exiled to live in Babylon. Jeremiah gives the people hope for two different events: 1) God would make a way for the Hebrew people to return to Israel and restore Jerusalem and 2) God would one day send the Messiah to lead them.

 ^“The time is coming, declares the Lord, when I will fulfill my gracious promise with the people of Israel and Judah. ¹⁵ In those days and at that time, I will raise up a righteous branch from David’s line, who will do what is just and right in the land. ¹⁶ In those days, Judah will be saved and Jerusalem will live in safety. And this is what he will be called: The Lord Is Our Righteousness.” Jeremiah 33:14-16

If one had just been through war and exile, perhaps seeing family members killed, perhaps being separated from family and friends, I’m not sure how much hope, if any, one would have. The Israelite people would have been raised on God’s promises that were handed down from Noah and Abraham. What would they think of those prior promises in the wake of the Babylonian invasion and subsequent exile? Would these promises continue to bring them hope?

Perhaps. Perhaps they could continue to tell one another the stories of how they truly do have a good God. A God that would continue to work in their lives in spite of mistakes, shortcomings and disobedience among them and among all people. But not only do they have the old stories, but prophets like Jeremiah were there. They lived during the time of this exile and they were currently hearing from God. They were living in the present day and they were sharing new promises from God. The promise that even though things were really, really bad right now, God was still at work. God would restore them to their land (the one that was promised to Abraham) and God would also send a new leader, one that would be far, far better than any they had ever seen.

Our Christian faith today is not only about the old promises, it’s also about what’s happening currently. We can find hope in the promises found in the Scriptures, but we can also be lights of hope to one another. No, we don’t have prophets like the ones from the Old Testament who we believe have a special word from God. However, we can remind one another daily of God’s love, peace, and desire to be a part of our lives. In the midst of terrible situations, we can look toward what Advent points to – Christ coming into our world. One who will be called “The Lord is our Righteousness” as well as “the Prince of Peace” and “Wonderful Counselor.”

Sometimes, it can be the littlest things that give us hope. When we see someone hold the door for someone else. Or when someone even just gives us a smile. God came down to earth in the form of a baby. What could be smaller or more helpless? Yet, as a baby he would live and grow like each of us. And from that tiny baby would come the world’s redeemer. I have more than hope – I know that Christ is still at work in his followers and empowering us to continue the work that he began. If you find yourself in need of hope as you read this, I pray that you will find it in those facts: God desires to be with you, alongside you no matter what you are going through. If you find yourself hope-full, I pray that you will share that hope and be that hope for others. Even if you think it is only in the smallest way!

Holding On and Letting Go

Tomorrow my older daughter heads out to Kindergarten. She has mainly been extremely excited – she can’t wait to ride the bus and buy her lunch in the cafeteria. I’m mostly excited for her, too. She is more outgoing than me times about 10 and she loves meeting new people and going new places. She also loves learning, so I have no doubt that she will have a great year. However, it also starts another new step in her independence. She will be on her own for most of the day and I won’t be there to see. Over the past year I feel like she has already taken this step personality-wise. Some days I look at her and see very little of myself! She has developed her own likes, dislikes, silly voices, and mannerisms. Some days, that’s when I grab my younger daughter, my mini-me, and hold her tighter. Most days I just ask the big girl more questions so I can keep up with knowing her as well as I did the day before.

I can’t tell you where I read it (horrible citation, I know), but someone wrote that parenting is about learning to let go a little bit every day. Kids are constantly growing up and away from our protective hold on them. Growing up works best when we gradually give them a little more independence each day, both for them and for ourselves. I know I can get really nostalgic and when the moment hits, I will fall to pieces thinking about the bygone days of tiny onesies, that adorable way she used to say Spiderman when she was 2, or just sad that I can’t remember an exact memory from something she did as a 3 year old. I have to say a prayer and move forward with life. I have to live in the moment or else I’ll miss something else.

Recently I had the opportunity and pleasure to lead a women’s retreat for a small group of ladies at my church. Our theme was “A Very Mary Weekend.” I wanted to research the many Marys of the New Testament and see what their lives and experiences with Christ could teach us about our own. I enjoyed learning about each Mary, but the one that touched me the most was the mother of Jesus. I found a great book entitled “The Real Mary” by Scot McKnight. McKnight walks us through Mary’s life from the time she hears from the angel Gabriel to her days working with the early church after Christ’s death. He described Mary’s transformation as her understanding of what Israel’s Messiah would look like changed as she watched her son grow up and eventually die. We can tell from the Magnificat that Mary expected a political Messiah that would help the people of Israel gain their independence from the Roman government. We can tell from the wedding at Cana that Mary expected Jesus to obey and follow her directions as any good Jewish boy would. However, as a mother, Mary would have to learn to let go. She would have to let go of her specific ideas of what the Messiah should be and do and hold on to the idea that he would bring peace and justice in his own way. She would have to let go of the idea of her son following her and hold on to the love she had for him and allow that love to humble her to follow him.

Like Mary, we have to learn to let go and hold on in many areas of our lives. In our relationships with others, we have to make room for our friends to grow and change. We have to make choices about holding on to the friendship or letting go of expectations about who and what that person should be or do. As parents, we have to “hold on” to our kids in such a way as to assure them that we will always be there for them. We have to hold on to standards we set for them and for their behavior. As the timing is right we also have to let go and let them be who they are, even if that’s different from us. This is symbolized as we reach milestones with them, but it happens every day. And I’m sure that I have much, much more to learn about this as my children grow.  In our faith, holding on and letting go is a careful act of discernment. Mary’s ideas about God shifted as she witnessed Christ’s ministry on earth. Where have my ideas about God strayed from who God truly is? Where has some outside influence shifted my beliefs? Our community of faith helps guide us through these shifts and helps us discern the right path.

In the morning, I will hold my sweet girl tightly. Then I will let her go climb those big steps onto the big yellow bus. And as the tears flow, I will hold on tightly to the God who loves me more than I love her. The God who entrusted her to me and her dad to take care of in the first place and who will continue to be with us as we raise her. The God who simultaneously holds each of us and lets each of us go our own way whether that is close or far from God. May God be with each of you in whatever areas of life you are holding on and letting go in these days.